fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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