u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
vagina is talking i cant
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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