Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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