we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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