his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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