life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
