Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
