dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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