Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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