hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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