i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
