I just made out with a guy for $7.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
