forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize