does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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