Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
