that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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