is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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