addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
