i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
