he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
MIDGETS
????
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
