You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize