now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
