i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
