Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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