Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh god it's open bar.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
