You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
North Korea, Best Korea!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
