i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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