I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
