It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
