it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im holly from the hills drunk
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We're too hungover to prance.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
