just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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