my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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