The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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