he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Acid is not a monday night drug
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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