he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
