he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
