this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
