I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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