Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
