Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
