Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
