Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize