He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
