Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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