we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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