She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
