but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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