3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He passed out mid-signature
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
