are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
