Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
