I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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