After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize