I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
