but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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